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Just some quotes that I've collected for one reason or another.  I love to read them because so many are applicable to all sorts of situations that you've got to snicker to yourself because someone else viewed it the same way you did, but just had a better way to describe it.


bullet Adams, Douglass  

"I love deadlines.  I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."

bulletAde, George  

 "R-E-M-O-R-S-E! Those dry Martinis did the work for me;  Last night at twelve I felt Immense, Today I feel like thirty cents.  My eyes are bleared, my coppers hot, I'll try to eat, but I cannot.  It is no time for mirth and laughter, The cold, gray dawn of the morning after."

bulletJason Alexander (From Seinfeld)  

"The web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'"

bulletBaez, Joan  

"It seems to me that those songs that have been any good, I have nothing much to do with the writing of them. The words have just crawled down my sleeve and come out on the page."

bulletBehn, Aphra  

 "Contrary to the custom of his country, he made her vows she should be the only woman he would possess while he lived; that no age or wrinkles would incline him to change, for her soul would be always fine, and always young; and he should look into his heart for that idea, when he could find it no longer in her face"-- excerpt from Oroonoko

bulletBergman, Ingrid  

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous"

bulletBenchley, Robert  

"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment."

bulletBush, Barbara  

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."

bullet Callas, Maria  

 "An opera begins long before the curtain goes up and ends long after it has come down. It starts in my imagination, it becomes my life, and it stays part of my life long after I've left the opera house."

bulletCebrian, Catherine  

 "I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking."

bulletChandler, Robert  

 "Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you just take the girl's clothes off."

bulletEinstein, Albert  

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

bulletEliot, T.S.  

"There will be time, there will be time to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet"-- excerpt from The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock




bulletKiam, Victor  

 "Never be associated with someone you can't be proud of, whether you work for him or he works for you."

bulletFischer, Martin H.  

"Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat."

bulletFranklin, Benjamin  

 "Lost time is never found again."

bulletGarcia, Jerry  

 "I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

bulletGeldorf, Bob  

"Most people get into bands for three very simple rock and roll reasons: to get laid, to get fame, and to get rich."

bulletHawking, Stephen  

 "Disorder increases with time because we measure time in the direction in which disorder increases."

bulletHubbard, Elbert  

 "A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes you."

bulletKissinger, Henry  

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."




bulletLee, Laurie  

 "In America, even your menus have the gift of language. . . . 'The Chef's own Vienna Roast. A hearty, rich meat loaf, gently seasoned to perfection and served in a creamy nest of mashed farm potatoes and strictly fresh garden vegetables.' Of course, what you get is cole slaw and a slab of meat, but that doesn't matter because the menu has already started your juices going. Oh, those menus. In America, they are poetry."

bulletLincoln, Abraham  

 "If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend."

bulletMarceau, Marcel  

"Music conveys moods and images. Even in opera, where plots deal with the structure of destiny, it's music, not words, that provides power."

"Music and silence . . . combine strongly because music is done with silence, and silence is full of music."

bulletMcWilliams, Peter

    "There is nothing to be done, only accept it and hurt."

bulletNicholson, Jack  

 "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch"

bulletOgilvie, Lloyd John  

"There is a time when we must finally choose the course we will follow, or the relentless rft of events will make the decision for us."

bulletOnassis, Aristotle  

"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."




bulletBenchley, Robert  

"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment."

bulletRose, Axel  

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

bulletSarte, Jean-Paul  

 "Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."

bulletSmith, Hedrick  

 "Russians will consume marinated mushrooms and vodka, salted herring and vodka, smoked salmon and vodka, salami and vodka, caviar on brown bread and vodka, pickled cucumbers and vodka, cold tongue and vodka, red beet salad and vodka, scallions and vodka—anything and everything and vodka."

bulletSolzhenitsyn, Alexander  

 "Woe to that nation whose literature is cut short by the intrusion of force. This is not merely interference with freedom of the press, but the sealing up of a nation's heart, the excision of its memory."

bulletDr. Squid  

 "In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king . . . and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen."

bulletStone, Sharon  

 "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships"




bulletWharton, Edith  

"An unalterable and unquestioned law of the musical world required that the German text of French operas sung by Swedish artists should be translated into Italian for the clearer understanding of English speaking audiences."

bulletWilde, Oscar  

"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies."

"Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."

bulletWolinski, Georges  

 "Teamwork is wasting half of one's time explaining to others why they are wrong."

bulletWoods, Tiger  

 "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."




bullet"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off you."  

bullet "He is a good friend who speaks well of us behind our back."  

bullet"The church is near, but the road is icy; the bar is far away, but I'll walk carefully." (Russian Proverb)  
bullet"There is no such thing as chance."  

bullet"Absence extinguishes small pasions and increases great ones as the wind blows out a candle or flames a bonfire."  
bullet"Love is only sex mispelled."  
bullet"The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off."  
bullet"A woman with a big ass should dump him." (Bumper sticker)  
bullet"Always yield to may never pass your way again."  

"One touch is worth ten-thousand words."